“He never shows me enough affection.”
“She never lets things go.”
“He never will just own it.”
“She never apologizes.”
I always have hope if the couple in front of me, is either angry or crying. Either way, I know that there is still an attachment. There is still a small hope that this couple can rebuild, repair, and learn how to communicate. I have that hope, because I have seen couples do it over and over again.
Even though I have taught thousands of couples over the last decade how to communicate, complain and compromise, I wanted to do something different. I recently introduced a service called Couple Specific Intensive Retreats. In the past, I have run multiple couples’ retreats (aka marriage retreats) in Ontario. Not that there is anything wrong with a group retreat, but a CSIR takes it to the next level.
Picture it. You are your partner are unhappy, not connected and scared about breaking up. Beyond the emotional investment that you have put into this person, plus the years spent, there is an incredible financial investment at stake. Truly, you have every good reason to want to make this work, yet you both struggle to let things go, to hear one another’s pain, and to feel safe and in love.
In a Couple Specific Intensive Retreat (Ontario residents only,) I meet with a couple over the course of a Friday to Sunday, to do in one weekend, what would take an average couple, 18 sessions to complete. 18sessions is like going to therapy every other week for 9 months!
The first day, I meet individually with each partner so that they can talk without feeling censored around their feelings about what they find the most painful in the marriage. It includes taking a history and gaining an understanding of the attachment trigger points along the way. My job is to learn how you got to this place.
We spend a significant time learning new skill sets to deal with complaints. My goal is that by the end of this retreat, you both are able to hear each other’s complaints, demonstrate empathy, repair where necessary, and then compromise on whatever the issue is.
And we will look at the hard issues!
There are breaks, there are breakaways, there are dates, and there may even be a romantic surprise along the way.
My agenda is to help rebuild the both of you so that you are TEAM US, VERSION 2 POINT OH.
The only way in life is to grow. We can grow together, or we grow apart. And sometimes, spending a weekend dealing with, and resolving your pain, can be the best investment you can make. Why? Because you both are investing in the health and the future of your relationship.
If you think you would be a good candidate for a Couples Specific Intensive Retreat, than you can check out more information here on our website: https://www.thecouplesclinic.ca/the-couples-clinic
I also encourage you to reach out and book a FREE, no pressure half an hour online call with me, Ronnie Littlewood, to answer any questions, and to get some feedback if you would be a good fit. https://thecouplesclinic.janeapp.com/#/staff_member/1/treatment/57
Lastly, because psychotherapy is a regulated health profession in Ontario, you may be able to use your workplace health benefits to pay for this service. Feel free to ask us how.
Have some hope friend. I have watched many people fall back in love again.
So can you 💕
Ronnie Littlewood, M.S.W., R.S.W.
